**NEW GAME SCHEDULE** 

07/09/2008

6:45--Diamond #1--Ferocious @ YWC--Ref James Brown

6:45--Diamond #2--Pirate Hookers @ Blackout--Ref Bayside

6:45--Diamond #3--B.U.N.T. @ Robot Monkeys--Ref Porn

7:30--Diamond #1--Basis @ James Brown--Ref Ferocious

7:30--Diamond #2--Burninators @ Bayside--Ref Blackout

7:30--Diamond #3--JKI @ Porn--Ref B.U.N.T. 

Week 6 Power Rankings

Disclaimer: These are met for fun and are not actually the official standings of Chicago Kickball. All questions can be directed via email to Anthony at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

1.Robot Monkeys (Last Week #2; 3-0-2 2nd place West)

I will be honest, the team with the second most points in the league should not be first. To speak on my behalf this team cornered me at the bar demanding to know why they were not ranked #1. Now understand I was not scared, not at all,however I had found a stray puppy and was trying my best to find who its owner was. This puppy was getting scared and I agreed to give them the #1 spot aslong as they stopped throwing beer in the puppies face. 

2. Ferocious (Last Week #1; 4-2-01st place West)

The defending champions lose a spot this week since I had that puppy with me and they have lost a little step in their game. They beat up on Blackout prettygood this week. Still two losses? Cmon now I expect more from a defending champion team.

3.Basis: Loaded (Last Week #4; 4-1-0 1st place East)

This team seems to score as many runs as beer is drank a week at the bar. This team just seems to find ways to cheat their way to victory every week. Last week was a close one against Porn Syrup, but this week should be a tough test against....oh wait they are playing the hookers. What I meant to say was this week should be a piece of cake.

4.Kittens (Last Week #3; 3-2-1 2nd place East)

The kittens are not playing their best kickball of late. Rumor around the league said Susan was so upset with the team's loss two weeks ago that she drove around one night putting stray cats in her teammate's cars to fire them up. After the cats urinated (one died also since Brian didn't drive his car for 7 days) and chewed up the seats, the team got fired up for a win last week.

5.Burninators (Last Week #4; 3-2-0 3rd place East)

Another week another win for the Burninators. Team Ace Teddy Constraint pitched his team to victory last week against a tough B.U.N.T. team. When asked after the game what was his motivation he said "My kitten which I brought to the bar last week went missing. He is a tabby and very friendly. If you know of his whereabouts please email me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ."

6.Just Kickin It (Last Week #6; 3-3-0 3rd place East)

Wow this team is on a roll. Its a good thing too since they never really seem to come to the bar that often. Either they don't have a lot of money or they all care about what they do for a living unlike the rest of us and want to rest up for work the next day. Good for them. 

7.James Brown (Last Week #6; 2-2-2 4th place West)

Yeah I am not going to lie....pretty pretty sad about this one here. I am a James Brown supporter, always have been even when all you other teams ripped on them behind their backs. Ask Tim what he does for a living. It's like a really important job...not kidding. He even once had to go on a business trip to Branson Missouri and yes he visited Dollyworld.

8.Porn Syrup (Last Week #8; 2-4-0 4th place East)

Well if you didn’t hear, Chris got his special cream and just in time. He applied it and struck out not one, but two players. This has caused a frenzy among the league as to if this so called “Special Rash” cream isn’t hgh. The board is looking into this matter. On a side not Chris’s rash is gone and he is back to new. Apparently the rash was caused from letting his pet Raccoon sleep in bed with him.

9. BaysideTigers (Last Week #4; 2-3-0 4th place East)

This is a team of total streaks. Lose one, Win two, Lose two. Team leftfielder James Tannehill wants everyone to know you can order from him via email now for his lovely knitted jock straps he has made at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it . His website “jamesknits.com” is now down seeing as he couldn’t afford the yearly membership from godaddy.com.

10.B.U.N.T. (Last Week #5; 2-3-0 5th place West) 

I am not saying a thing about this team until I find out what the team name means. However on a side note: Their center fielder must be Superman or has Super seeing since he could see the balls and strikes better than the ref from center field.  

11.Yes We Can (Last Week #5; 2-3-1 5th place East)

Wow really? I thought for sure this team was going to be undefeated. The kickball version of the 1997 Florida Marlins isn’t looking so hot right now. They are already looking into the off season as they plan to cut loose half their roster and bring players up from the farm system starting with young ace Zack Helman.

12.Pirate Hookers (Last Week #7; 2-3-0 5th place West)

Well these pirates haven't been stealing any wins lately. That is okay though seeing as they are in a rebuilding year like the Kansas City Royals. We all know what kind of year the Royals have been having too.

13.Blackout Bridade (Last Week #9; 1-4-0 5th place East)

Well not even a win could get them out of this hole. However with the tough part of their schedule behind them, they got the tougher part ahead.